Join the Bridget Jones Brigade, 1 Life Laughing

Recruiting for the Bridget Jones Brigade…

The job description is pretty simple: make me feel less ashamed of melting my kettle on the hob and other such daily Bridget-esque life failings… (I mean at least she gets the guy… where the f*** is Colin Firth when you need him?)

Please find person specification below. Anyone with house plants that are still alive or fully stocked refrigerators need not apply.

1. You cannot see your bedroom floor and you cannot remember what colour the carpet is (or if there even is a carpet… Is there a carpet?! Oh god is there?)

2. You start writing everything down in your diary but you keep leaving your diary at home and writing things on pieces of paper that you lose – another plan bites the dust, another friend pissed off…

3. You keep forgetting things when you go to the shop. Which means you’ve washed yourself with shampoo for five days straight and you’re on first-name terms with the local Deliveroo guy.

4. You’ve run out of underwear. Bikini bottoms have become an acceptable replacement to you.

10. You forget what day it is, what time it is, you say good morning at 4pm, you lose all ability to count. What year is it again…?

5. You have dreams about conversations, trips to the pub, adventures, and forget they haven’t actually happened. Which is why the office can’t remember that time you all met Johnny Depp in the toilets and had a group orgy in a cubicle. You should probably stop talking now…

6. You keep breaking things in creative new ways – you drop your phone into the sink because you were balancing it in a cupboard in the aim of face-timing a friend while washing up (it seemed like a good idea at the time). You then spill water on it at work. Then you smash the screen in on the way to the office. And then you melt the kettle on the hob…

7. You forgot to brush your teeth this morning. You also forgot to shower. Your tops is inside out and back to front.

8. The washing up is turning into an insurmountable challenge. You’re eating over the sink and into napkins.

9. You forgot the bins for the last two weeks and the front garden is developing a slightly off-putting smell (more than ‘slightly’ for your friends…)

10. You’ve downloaded Tinder again. Enough said.

11. You’ve become addicted to an app that leads you on a goose chase around the city, catching Pokemon. 

12. You wake up every morning with a new empty bottle of cider on the bedside table.

13. At work, you accidentally call your boss ‘Scrumpy’ before you remember that your boss is not your dog.

14. You pour a bowl of museli before you remember there’s no milk left. You eat it anyway. With a spoon.

15. You tell yourself it will all be ok far too often… The lady doth protest too much…?

Running isn't always good for you, 1 Life Laughing

Running isn’t always good for you…

So this is one of those weird moments you will have strange nightmares about afterwards. It’s probably never happened to you. It’s just not a normal thing to happen.

It started with some very well-meant exercise. Trainers – on, laces – tied, iPod – on shuffle, Rod Stewart – deleted from iTunes. I was ready for a productive fitness session, I did my stretches (ten seconds for each lunge, five seconds on the hams – it’s a question of balance…) And then I was running, a light, steady jog down the street to the local park. All is well so far, yes? Continue reading

Brush It Off

Who says fashion has to be hard work? Here’s a simple, effective way to catch attention, to accentuate your assets and the best part – it’s cheap as chips (probably cheaper) and takes about five seconds.

It’s Spring, so here’s the chance to try something slimming, to be adventurous and to change your look. This could be your hair, with a brush stuck in it.

Brush it off, 1 Life Laughing


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The real Harry Potter, The Laughing Life

The Real Harry Potter

There was once a boy who lived. He received a long and tedious application form to his Gmail account which he filled in (religion: agnostic, sexuality: undecided, medical history: once scarred by the Dark Lord of the wizarding world…) He was an average applicant but because he was famous, he was immediately accepted into Hogwarts without interview (because it’s not what you know, it’s who you know). Continue reading