Wanted: Waterfalls in England

I did it, I really left the tropical beaches of Southern Thailand to return to tarmac, concrete and a grey sky to match (you can’t say that England isn’t colour-coordinated). I had to wear all my clothes home because it is so cold here (the worst part being that it’s not even that cold yet.) But actually, that’s not the worst part. The worst part is the knowledge that those were the best three months of my life, I found paradise, and I came home to a place that hasn’t changed, hasn’t moved an inch, even though I’ve ridden mopeds, climbed waterfalls and scaled mountains. Queue the world’s smallest violin.

Let’s not get too gloomy, folks, it’s a Sunday afternoon after all. So when we take a step back, when we put down the violin, it’s easy to be less depressing. What’s actually happened is that I had an awesome three months travelling where I learned oh so much, made many friends (ahem connections, ahem free holidays around the world) and generally had the time of my life. How did I even make this depressing in the first place, right? England’s pretty green, pretty friendly, pretty varied (so so expensive but let’s not plummet back into despair). There are waterfalls (well, water fountains…), I’m sure I could find elephants at a zoo here somewhere, and if I bought an old enough car, it could feel like a tuktuk, right? And there’s no reason why I can’t carry my backpack around with me when I pop to the shop or meet friends for coffee. There doesn’t have to be much inside it…


Just heading to Aldi this time, with my rucksack, and my clothing bulging out the sides… Nothing to see here.

And hey, there’s gotta be plenty of Thai restaurants round here. My token Vietnamese friend has already been enlisted for egg coffee and pho sessions and I have commandeered one blonde for a Thai dinner, where we will make pineapple fried rice in a pineapple. Travelling does not stop at the airport.

An American friend imparted her words of wisdom, ‘call everything an adventure’. So maybe I’m going to the pub now, or maybe I’m exploring a new place full of strangers, with strange marks on the walls (don’t look too close) and new smells in the air (hold your breath). Maybe I’ll meet a French pilot (or just an English one). Maybe I’ll even end up eating nouvelle cuisine as the sun rises at 5am (we will sit in MacDonald’s and watch the street lamps flicker on).

Or maybe, and this is a real possibility with the right amount of alcohol, maybe I will find myself back at an airport at 6am, jumping on a plane to Venezuela…

But for now, let’s just assume I’m home for the long haul lads and ladies. Aren’t you lucky, England.


Okay so England does actually have some cool waterfalls… Introducing High Force Fall, everybody. Thanks to Kathuk for this one.


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