The world has become a scary place – or maybe it’s just London. In this cockney centre of human traffic, the fear is so Central (Line) that we have stopped approaching each other – we’re all about those dating websites, or shall we make that Tinder apps, actually change that to stalkerish Happn satellites that can detect singles in your nearby vicinity… That’s right kids, these days, we’ve gotta use spy technology to track down our nearest romantic interest.
I’m not even criticising – perhaps these methods are more romantic than bumping uglies in da club. I have many a friend who has found long-term love via virtual channels. But what can I say, I’m a traditional lady.
So it’s been playing on my mind – what’s the best way to meet someone these days? They all say, everyone, the bosses, the parents, the friends – first impressions are everything, so how do you make one that will start a long and fruitful relationship? One lunch break in Holborn (obviously the place to find those excitable butterflies in your stomach, the business centre of London… hmmm…) I started guessing. By making up a story about strangers. (Call me weird, but we all do it, it’s called People Watching so let’s stop with the judging).
A lunch break in Lincoln Inn Field’s Park with a sad salad and the sun put strange thoughts in my head; what if I just rolled this pair together…? They just look like they’d suit, no?
Ooh, he’s sneaking a peek – but dammit he’s woken up, no way I can roll him now. And he’s too chicken to make a move.
Check out this guy sneaking in from bottom left – now we’ve got a predator on the prowl… This dating malarkey isn’t as simple as I thought…
Ah she’s gone, forever, he’s missed his chance. But hello, maybe I was looking at the wrong pair… Maybe these guys could hit it off. Nope. Maybe not. Tired lonely man is still alone. Maybe I should tell him about Happn…
So if you’re looking for love, I’ve ruled out one option for you – no rolling into people in parks (it does not work). You can thank me later for that golden tidbit.