This is a True Story.

I have started a blog because I have an experience to share with the world. It might be difficult to read, and it may shock you, but take heed. This is a warning to all of you. Because this could happen to you too, one day.

I thought it was a day like any other. I rolled out of bed at 12.30 (it’s Christmas after all) and had breakfast (Country Crisp cereal – nom) and got in the shower… I didn’t see until it was too late. My hair was already frothy with shampoo, there was nothing I could do. I was committed to the shower. And there, above me, crawling all over the ceiling, was an army of fifty baby spiders. How had I been so blind? They had surrounded me while I was vulnerable, with my eyes shut. Some were on the wall around me, some were dangling from the shower curtain, hanging off the window, already making webs around my extra moisturizing Dove body wash…

Some things in life are there to test us. Some are there to blog about. Some, are both. Did I flee the shower screaming? No. (Although I’m not ashamed to admit that there was a lot of screaming). Did I slip on a bar of soap in my panic and lie unconscious in the bath until I came to? Yes. No not really. Sorry.

No. I did what any true Brit in my place would do. I washed the shampoo out of my hair (still screaming), conditioned it, braved the Dove soap and dammit, I washed as thoroughly as I ever had in my life. Although admittedly a lot more quickly. And once I was finished, I will admit that I did run screaming from the bathroom at last.

Take heed, fellow men and women. Check your ceilings before you shower. It could save your life.

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